So, first things first. I know most of you read my blog in a reader *waves at reader people* which is all good, because I would too*.
Today, however, you need to pop through. No, seriously, get your ass over here and be amazed at it’s awesomeness. Now, when people ask about web designers, I have two in mah back pocket. Princess Jenn (who did the coding but ALSO does WordPress blog designs) and Lindsay Goldner (who did the blog design itself).
Now you know who can make your blog FULL of the awesome.
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So there’s this GIGANTIC blogging conference in a couple weeks, right? I haven’t seen the ZOMGBBQFAQ posts on The Twitter or The Facebook, mostly because I’m ignoring them. There’s only so much of that I can handle.
Having been now, to two BlogHer conferences, I feel I can share my wisdom with you. And by “wisdom,” I mean, “bullshit.”
0) Um. Chill the fuck out about it all of you type-A people. You’re making me nervous.
1) No one but you is going to give a shit about your shoes. By all means, by new ones if it makes you happy, but don’t make it into a ‘ZOMG IF I DON’T PEOPLE WILL SHUN ME.’
1) The conference is intimidating. That’s okay. After your first time, it won’t seem overwhelming. Heh. Kinda like The Sex.
2) Introduce yourself to other people. Why? Why NOT?
3) Remember that for some people, thanks to gaps in geography, this is the only time they’re seeing each other all year. They’re hanging with their online besties and may seem hard to infiltrate, but seriously, most people are kind.
5) If they’re assbags? Fuck ‘em. You don’t need ‘em. Come find me. We’ll hang.
8 ) There will be a hell of a lot of sponsors. Just accept it and move on.
13) Most of the swag you get is bullshit. Unless you need 9573636 flash drives, in which case, well, you’ll be in luck. But there is NO REASON to interrupt a perfectly good conversation with someone to make a mad dash for a swag bag.
21) There will be drama. Stay out of it.
34) If someone introduces themselves to you, be kind.
55) Be very, very wary of the drive-by social networker.
89) Actually attend the sessions. Your fellow bloggers work hard as hell to put ‘em together.
144) I wasn’t invited to a single party, either. *shrugs* More time to get liquored up and do something I regret in the morning.
233) Unless you’re me, you DON’T want to be debaucherous in front of a zillion people who can live-blog it.
377) You’ll walk a hell of a lot more than you’d think.
610) For the name of all that’s holy, if you want to be recognized, do NOT do what I did my first year and use this as your avatar:
when you look more like this:
because no one will know you.
987) Send your swag home via UPS. You can thank me in gifts and/or cash later.
1597) COME HANG OUT WITH ME. No, I’m serious. We should hang, get liquored up and make asses of ourselves ALL OVER San Diego.
What am I missing, fellow BlogHer veterans?
*If I subscribed to myself, which I don’t think I do, because that’s kinda weird.
The post Aunt Becky’s Piss-Poor Guide To BlogHer appeared first on Mommy Wants Vodka.